Convinced that Alan’s family doesn’t fully appreciate him after they throw him a pathetic birthday party, Melissa invites Alan to live with her and her mom, whose disturbing hobbies quickly send Alan back whence he came.
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Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced that he is the father; Jake is in a bad mood and Charlie thinks he knows the reason.
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Temptation is the theme of this episode as Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress, while Alan and his receptionist Melissa (Kelly Stables), who has since recovered from her disastrous fling with Charlie, fight to suppress their mutual attraction.
NOTE: This episode was briefly mentioned in the Peoples Choice Awards 2009.
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One of Charlie’s old partners in crime (Emilio Estevez) dies, leaving Charlie to reevaluate his own reckless lifestyle and tell everyone in his life (except Alan) how much he cares about them, eventually leading to Charlie almost proposing marriage to former stalker Rose. James Earl Jones guest stars.
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Evelyn offers to pay for Jake’s college education, and Alan becomes listless because he has no compelling reason to work anymore, while Jake discovers a hidden talent in the culinary arts that may allow him to bypass college altogether. Jon Polito and Kelly Stables guest star.
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Jake disappears with the daughter (Tinashe Kachingwe) of Charlie’s neighbor, a former NFL player (Michael Clarke Duncan), and Charlie is left to cover his back. Meanwhile, Alan scores a hot date with the help of Charlie’s Mercedes and ends up losing both the car and what little was left of his dignity.
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Charlie’s new girlfriend Chelsea asks him to spend the night at her place, which puts Charlie well outside of his comfort zone, while Alan tries to enforce a punishment on Jake initiated by Judith for mooning a group of girls.
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Alan tries to escape Judith’s grasp as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl. To cover up Alan’s escapade, Charlie screws with Jake by leading him to believe he’s being sent to military school. In the end, Jake drops a major bombshell: Judith is pregnant.
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When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking; Jake is sent to stay with a less-than-willing Charlie for three months while Judith cools down.
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The guys bump into Jake’s former teacher Delores Pasternak (Alicia Witt) who became a stripper after a fling with Charlie. Charlie tries to help her out by giving her a room at his house and a job tutoring her ex-student Jake, but things spiral out of control when the guys find out she’s become a religious fundamentalist.
NOTE: Miss Pasternak (played by Missi Pyle) first appeared in the Season 2 episode “A Bag Full of Jawea”